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Opposite Sides of the Bed

How We Differ
Women are more other-focused and men are more self-focused. A man’s sense of self comes from pitting himself against others, from competing. Self-focus enables a man to act in the world decisively and with self-confidence. Therefore, to be close to others, men must travel a greater psychological distance than women.

“I don’t think boys in general watch the emotional world of relationships as closely as girls do. Girls track that world all day long, like watching the weather,” says Carol Gilligan, psychologist. Women have an inexhaustible fascination with others and their needs. Caring about and for others is such a strong female trait that a woman can do it to the detriment of herself. Every gender trait confirms this main premise.

60 Gender Traits
Opposite Sides of the Bed will enable you to avoid conflicts with the opposite sex in love and work and parenting relationships. It doesn’t urge women to act more like men, and vice versa. It’s about retaining gender traits that serve us and dropping or modifying those that don’t. Each two-page chapter cites research and offers tips on how to cope with the opposite sex. Here are a few differences:

Women seek help readily; men are less willing.
Men have a stronger drive for sex and power.
Men tell more jokes and stories than women.
Women fear commitment less than men.
Men tend to have fewer friends than women.
Women take fewer physical risks than men.
Men talk more about things and women talk more about people.

Praise from John Gray
Opposite Sides of the Bed explains gender differences in an elegant yet simple format. I often recommend it to participants in my seminars because it contains useful data that complements my book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.”

The Book’s History
Opposites Sides of the Bed: A Lively Guide to the Differences between Women and Men, is published by Conari Press, 1992, and has sold roughly 30,000 copies. It is translated into German, Chinese and Portuguese.



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